On December 21 this year we should all make text posts that sound really apocalyptic but aren’t. We could be like
OH GOD EVERYTHING IS BURNING
because I turned up the heater
ALL I HEAR IS SCREAMING
from my tv
THIS IS GOODBYE BECAUSE WE’RE EVACUATING
im surprised this hasnt been reblogged very much lately
seriously considering filling my pockets with glitter and whenever someone near me says something really stupid or rude i’ll just reach into my pocket with a dead expression and release the glitter into the sky above their head and watch it shower over them like a baptism of stupid
Cabin in the Woods; Angry Molesting Tree
- Me: Why is it an angry molesting tree? Why not a sad molesting tree or a happy molesting tree?
- Friend: Why would a molesting tree be happy?
- Me: Well, it must like molesting if it keeps doing it. So that must make it happy.
- Friend: True.
- Me: Also, what kind of tree is it? A Christmas tree? A palm tree?
- Friend: I think it'd be a willow.
- Me: NOT GRANDMOTHER WILLOW! POCHAHONTAS WOULD NOT APPROVE!
- Friend: Are you high?
- Me: Why do people always assume I'm under the influence of something?!